SvenskaRight now I am on the train somewhere in the middle of South Sweden. I went to see my brother in Malmö today. I have mentioned before that being big sister is a huge responsibility. I have always taken care and helped my brother. I think he had fun today. That makes me happy! He has recently moved to a very nice apartment where he can call for help if there are any problems. And he is very found of the women helping him 
I Will always look after him.
I know that I should take care of myself better. Unfortunately, people have always taken advantage of me because I am a high performer. Never mention that you are good at things. Nobody says that I am good at things, so then I have tell myself good stuff. And it makes me feel good.
A few months ago I went to see a specialist at traumas since I have experienced trauma in my life. A pschyciatrist. However, I lost confidence since she said that I do not have cancer. She is not an oncologist and had got information about my medical record. How had she got that information? And the worst thing of all, she enjoyed breaking me down. She doesn´t have any children and almost forced me to think of not having a family. I have talked to another psychiatrist several years ago. I got serious side effects due to an anti depressant, I felt that I no longer wanted to live. Since I have great knowledge in pharmacology, I know that this contradiction can occur. This phenomena is “easily” explained by eg stimulation of auto receptors (a very important concept introduced by Professor Arvid Carlsson in the 1960’s I think). I was totally neglected by health care. My parents have helped me through tuff times, and now, in my turn, I help them.
Today, I am strong again. I have tried to do something that might lead to a change for future generations. I have tried lawyer. It didn’t work. I cannot make a complaint to the health care system. It is too late. I am greatful for internet freedom.
I really hope that other people may find support in what I am writing. Depression is very common in our society, but not spoken of. I definitely believe that medicine makes you recover and also prevents suicide. This is evidence, repeated by several, several studies. But doctors need to get more knowledge. Problems may occur if they don’t know how to show empathy. Environmental-personal health are so tightly connected. But, it is of course easier to neglect the impotence of the environment; to make a complex problem simple. My reflection is that a lot of people do not have the gift/talent to make such observations. DSM is relatively easy, but to/the challenge, please, introduce more of the role of the pressure from the environment. This is one of the most challenging tasks to man-kind today.
Increasing serotonine/noradrenaline (etc) levels in the brain is like giving insulin to diabetic patients. Remember that. And what happens when insulin is not administered to a patient with diabetes?
Now I am approaching Stockholm. Rain. Norrköping. I love the feeling of moving fast.
Je t’embrasse,
Anna
PS next time I will write on “brilliant ideas and innovation help industry to expand, if no ideas, what happens?” The always discussed topic: brain drain.