Hi!

Hi again!

Early Sunday morning. I have had some bad food lately so I have to be very careful. Started this morning with some porridge. Very old breakfast standard in Sweden. This is what I am grown up on, always with fresh Cloudberries from North part of Sweden.

I like the photo of my auntie above. I was very little when she got divorced. I remember her wedding. I was bridesmaid. The wedding was in Tärnaby at a very old wooden church. I was a bit unhappy because my shoes were too small. My feet hurt. But I was kind and held my bouquet with a smile. I wore a blue, very cute, lappish dress. My hair was blond at that time. Don´t remember when my hair changed to brown.

Lappish people are considered as black in Sweden. Swedish government has a very dark history. However, when Carl Bildt was prime minister of Sweden he arranged so Lappish people have a government of their own. A first step. A giant step.

I suppose integration is slow because Lappish culture is considered to be odd. But to me, people with a lot of culture, art and traditions is a sign of intelligence. That means that you have thought. There has been some kind of development. However, I admit, there is a huge contrast between Lappish way of living and for example San Francisco life. But Lappish people live in harmony with nature, and to have this planet live for a long time, nature must be integrated in daily life.

This morning I read about all people trying to cross the Mediterranian to reach Europe. That is a tragedy. It is horrible to watch people so desperate. They must know that they put their own life at risk when crossing the sea.

I am grown up in the countryside with both Lappish (not indian) and Swedish traditions. So, to be honest, my father has done a great work to integrate South and North of Sweden. But there is still a lot of work to be done. When my auntie is in the US she tells that the Lappish people are like the Indians. To make an understandable comparison. However, there are differences. The Lappish people are peaceful and have been subject to Swedish government pressure and torture. Yes. Torture. I don´t think Swedish government never will admit this because of weakness in leadership.

My auntie never got any kids, but she is happy anyway. Her husband was unfaithful so that is why she got divorced. They were a very beautiful couple. They had movie star looks. Like James Bond, in earlier movies, got married to one of his women. After the divorce she worked abroad several years. Liberia, Libanon, Schweiz, Saudi Arabia more or less as a volunteer worker. She got her nurse degree in Stockholm and she studied and lived right where I live. She graduated together with my mum in the church that I see every day. Life is a coincidence. They took care of many patients. One of my aunties patients took all staff for lunch every Sunday at “Riche restaurant” here in Stockholm. I have been told many stories about e.g. Emperors of Ethiopia. But when you work with health care you are not allowed to reveal any information.

My auntie is very active even though she is approaching 80 years. She is happily remarried since 30 years. We sometimes have “woman-to-woman” talks. She was very beautiful when she was young and had many men interested in her. She told me that when a man is rejected he might become very dangerous. They may do everything to hurt you and reduce your chances of finding a man. They make up bad rumors to make you look like a hooker. And, personally, I do not understand why people want to believe in rumors. Probably that makes them feel good. But how can you feel good when you know that another person is not feeling good?

It is like me. I just have a feeling that an ex has put me in a very embarrassing situation on the internet. I have no proof. I just have a feeling. What worse is, is that people responsible for law and order do not make anything for women. Because they like to push you down. I speak a lot about internet freedom and there must be internet freedom. But when law and justice do not fight against sexual harassment, that is evil.

 

I will always hunt evil. That is for sure.

I will hunt them down.

I have never been unfaithful. Ok. Then I suppose you ask me “What is being unfaithful?” That is a difficult question to answer. For me, that is being intimate. And I have never been intimate when I have been in a relationship. That is crucial. And to go further, even though I am living alone, being single, I have not been intimate with anyone. I will wait till I find a man. Meanwhile, I write my book and poetry.

You know that I am adopted and that puts me in a very special situation. I have learnt to take care of myself. I have a big heart so I have always looked after my family. Maybe not so good for myself because that takes valuable time from my life. But what would life be without family? I don´t know much about my biological background. I know that my real father is dead. He fell from a mountain. My biological relatives have tried to stopped the adoption when I was little without thinking of me. I was only a child. That endured for many years. That is why I do not want to have any contact with my biological family.

My parents have always let me have liberty. They have supported me. My father is very conservative. He wants me to get married and have children. I have told them everything about preserving fertility. My father said that he had heard that preserving fertility is more or less standard to get an employment today.

This was very personal writing. But to be open, even though I have very high integrity, is important sometimes. Communication makes the world a better place to live. Don´t you agree?

 

Have a nice Sunday!

Anna

 

///////Yesterdays writing……………..

Long time no see.

It has been a busy day. In a way it is right now very beautiful in Stockholm. The temperature is perfect. Not to much sun. Not so windy. I suppose it is like tasting a little of summer. That gives hope and to be honest, I prefer summer.

I help my family quite a lot. I saw my auntie and she has no children. She showed me some pictures last night and this one is from the UN in Libanon. She has worked in several different countries as a nurse and she has military training. She decided to do that after a divorce. Life may turn out very differently.

All for now. Write more another time.

Bon nuit,

Anna