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Just relaxing today. A grey day in Stockholm so not much to do but to enjoy life as much as possible. It also is the 1st of March. Amazing how time passes. I think quite a lot of time. How memories fade away, giving place to new memories. Also called positive thinking.

You might have noticed that I like photos. And walks. I try to catch moments of life when I see them. This photo above is from a previous walk. Isn’t it beautiful? There are many boats in Stockholm and that is good because it revives my memories from living in Göteborg. I miss the fresh seafood and salt water from the west coast. However, still on a diet.

Today is a go with the flow day.

Je t’embrasse,

Anna

PS. Still problems with photos, not in the position I would like.

It is really nice to have a diary. Since I write directly on the internet I don’t have to think about hiding my writing. I have had trubble with someone breaking into my apartment. Not so nice. But I know that I am not alone of this so that comforts me. It scares me that our community is turning into an unsafe world. What are the signals for future generations?

Violence generates violence.

My philosophy is to have my own gard and if somebody is not nice to me then I have to do something about the situation. I think a lot of people have seen what’s happening in the USA. Media plays an important role in augmenting dangerous situations.

What makes me a bit fuzzy is that some people seek conflicts instead of thinking of how to make something good out of a situations. There will always be conflicts between people. That is for sure. But since we have this knowledge, we also have a possibility to avoid conflicts and make good solutions.

Mostly, from my point of view, is to use your brain. Yes, everybody has a brain. Again, I would like to mention Professor Arvid Carlsson talking about the reptile brain. The brain has developed throughout ages. I said it before, I believe the impulse controlling systems in the brain are very important. They help you to manage your fear, anger etc. However, when you meet somebody who do not have their feelings under control then it gets complicated.

I need to elaborate on this but this is extremely important if you would like to stay in balance with your feelings and importantly your relations.

Personally, I am at a time point in my life where I have to look after myself. I have been hurt by so many people. So I am very careful. I think everybody who has been hurt also knows how difficult it is to face similar situations. That is to get out of your comfort zone.

I am grown up in the countryside. I have always known that I have been adopted and later, I learnt a little about my “indian” background. But the life I know is only the country side. Please, try to understand that.

Sweet dreams,

Anna

Since I don´t have any statistics I don´t know if there is anyone reading this. Today I bought a new computer because I write so much. And I use the freedom of internet.

I have thought a lot about what I wrote last time. It is a summary of a pharmacological Cinderella fairytale. I love pharmacology. I have always been interested in pharmacology and I will see how I can continue to contribute.

I have had problems with the internet today. Hackers probably. Scary.

Since I have a new computer I have to upload old photos etc. I bumped into this photo. If you ever go to Sweden you can see this photo on a 100 SEK bill. It is a beautiful garden with many medical plants. Nice cafe as well.

Since I am single, I just cannot stay at home. You have to expose yourself to new situations and environments. I feel sorry for being single. But there has to be a man out there for me.

I think of all my sisters going through the same journey as I do. Dating. Bad guys. Not being serious.

I have to wait for a long time.

Meanwhile I have to enjoy myself in the very best way I can. It is very boring to be alone. Waste of time. But what do you do. No choices. So, sisters. I know what it is like. And don’t forget to wait for a nice man you love. And maybe, most importantly, a man who loves you.

Je t’embrasse,

Anna

I am now in my room where I grew up. Yes, I have read many evenings here. I remember my cousin saw light in my window when she walked the dogs at night.

My lecture is divided into two parts:

A. Social aspect of womans biological role

B. Health economical aspect

My life is in the hands of biology. I have tried to make the best I can out of my life. I have tried to live my life as ethical as possible. Since I am in a fertile age, I cannot help stop thinking about fertility. It would be interesting to know how fertility teaching is in school. I really hope that men learn that women have a biological clock. This is natures decision.

Unfortunately, since men don’t have the same pressure as women, men should somehow learn how it feels to have this biological pressure. A big task for school is to learn pupils to respect nature. Men must learn to take care of their women. Fortunatley, this don´t apply for everybody 😉

Personally, I feel a lot of pressure. It sometimes is so overwhelming so I just quit thinking of having a familiy. Dog is still mankinds best friend. It is somehow, a way to protect myself of going under. Since I always have had dogs, I know that I can always count on them. And they love walks!

How can we make men understand that women suffer a lot of the knowledge of the biological clock? And that love is a keyword.

Preserving fertility like I have done is definetly not a guarantee.

You can give nature a helping hand with a careful and sensitive tone. In that way there is a responsible development of cuiriosity.

Yes, this is a candle light lecture. A room in shadow with ideas waiting to be tested and challenged. I love the way the candles follow the slow wind.

Let’s continue.

Since I have a human platform, I consider womans social situation first. I have many sisters that I know have the same thoughts as I do. So sisters should help each other. Collaborate.

Pause.

Second part.

The second aspect is from a so called “wealth of nations” aspect.

When a drug is developed in a pharmaceutical company it is not just to make a new drug. One important aspect is to see if you (frankly) can make any money. There has to be a market.

The same rules apply to an egg bank. Yes. It is an egg bank. And I do not find it unethical to have an egg bank. An egg bank makes it easier for an industry to get the most out of their employees. And maybe, most importantly, it generates a lot of money for society in general. I have read and listened to some research that support this view. We need new tax payers 😉

This is all for now. See you soon!

Je t’embrasse,

Anna

Kanske kryptiskt skrivet. Men på något sätt så sammanfattar det hela mig just nu. Jag får ibland bara ett starkt behov av att stanna till för att livet inte ska gå vidare i fel riktning. Reflektion. Självrannsakan. Oerhört svårt och jobbigt. Utvecklande. Tufft.

Det kan man kanske inte tro om mig. Men så är det ibland. Så har jag alltid varit. Inneboende driv. Hjälper mig att samla styrka, fokus och framförallt koncentration. Svårt. Utmanande.

Dessutom är jag på diet. Så jag känner mig verkligen som en… Ja, vad ska jag säga. Nunna kanske? Kloster. Ja, det var det där med impulskontroll. Att tänka efter före. Tråkigt? Ja. Dygd.

Diciplin.

Självdiciplin.

Mognad.

Je t’embrasse,

Anna

(PS. Skrev detta igår, men det försvann. Antar att hackers har sportlov…)