Author Archives: Anna

I am back in Stockholm after two days in the countryside. I have realized that I am raised in a very conservative spirit. However, since I am forty years old I am mature and have realized a few things in life. Fundamental aspects.

The man should take care of her woman. In Sweden, the land of communism, woman is expected to take care of her man, children, work etc. This at a very low wage.

Imagine. What if woman is set all alone? What would she do? Nothing? Adjust to the mob? Join the communist party?

I have lived alone now for almost a decade. I have changed a lot during these years. This is very difficult for some people to accept. I do not understand why. I have a rather good education which is not good enough for Sweden, the mother of communism.

I would very much like to live together with a man. But since I have been hurt I am very careful.

Of course I feel a lot sorry for this. I think of my sisters. I know I have many sisters in the same situation as I am. So, I hope I can be of some support for future women generations.

I cannot stop thinking about the role of a man and a woman.

I am grown up in a very conservative environment. My father has always taken care of my mother, brother and  me. That is what counts. Family.

So important.

I take care of my parents and brother in my turn. This is so natural for me. It feels so, I don’t know what to say, but horrible to let my parents live elsewhere but at home.

I am so conservative and traditional.

But, let me put it this way. What would you be without your family? Relatives? I think you should ask yourself: what is important in your life?

This way of living is very common on south of Europe. I find it so sensible. Human.

Can you, please, give me some of your input?

Je t’embrasse,

Anna

…har jag alltid haft. Mål. Målmedvetenhet.

Ibland kan jag känna att livet stannar till. Och det behövs ibland. Jag kan känna mig ledsen, väldigt ledsen ibland, över mitt liv. Mitt livsöde. Samtidigt så tror jag att denna erfarenhet och insikt ger mig enorm styrka.

Jag är i en prekär situation med min förra arbetsgivare som jag väntar ska lösas på bästa sätt. Jag skulle kunna berätta mycket men jag lärde mig i Norge att man ska ha en god relation med sin arbetsgivare. Det har jag i och för sig vetat förut och alltid arbetat utifrån. Jag är alltid seriös.

Jag kan känna ilska. Stor ilska. Frustration. Det kan nog de flesta känna igen sig i. Det gäller att kunna hantera sina känslor. Har dessutom en pågående infektion som jag försöker tygla.

Är i mitt rum där jag växte upp. Visste ni att det spökar här? Läskigt.

Idag reflekterade jag över alla timmar som jag lagt ner på att plugga. Har det varit värt det? Studieskuld. Förlorad tid? Var är jag idag?

Jag kommer förmodligen att byta inriktning i mitt liv helt och hållet. Känner mig sviken. Bedragen. Bedragen och sviken av mig själv?

Längtar efter kärlek. Men ömsesidig sådan.

Je t’embrasse,

Anna

I am on a strict diet. I have actually never been on a diet like this, so this is completely new for me. I have always done some form of exercise to stay in good shape.

I do not know. But there is something with the food I buy. I get very dizzy.

I believe all humans need some kind of reward. I usually reward myself with some sweets. Right now, I find it very difficult not having any reward at all. I have to learn my brain not to be so found of sweets. And I have to find new rewards. That is why I love photos. Sweet Lady and Tippa. For example.

Alcohol interferes with brain reward systems in a very complex way. And what is important for us women is to really be aware of that Alcohol eg increases the risk of breast cancer. It also reduces the responsiveness of your immune system. But maybe most important, regular alcohol intake can lead to dependence.

I am really scared that it is not mentioned in the debate today that when youngsters are exposed to a drug, the risk of being more sensitive to another drug increases dramatically. So, for society in general, it is very dangerous to have a drug liberal politic. Politicians believe that they know what is right without having a solid ground.

I don´t know how many times I need to repeat that politicians need to learn biology. Maybe I need to learn more politics 😉

I will soon write more about brain reward systems. I am just not ready yet.

Je t’embrasse,

Anna

It seems like I will never get rid of my previous boyfriends and friends actions.  I do not know what I can do about it. As I have written previously, I have tried to live my life as ethical as possible. Unfortunately, I am too naive sometimes. And too faithful. I should underline that I am a nun today.

I am not gay. I do not have anything against homosexuality. As I have written before, it is very important to have a biological variance. That is, it is good to have a large biological variety. For mankind.

You should not force nature, but rather, try to follow the laws of nature and live in harmony.

Last night. I faced and realized evil. How someone wish my life to fade away. I got afraid. It has still not reached my consciousness. I do not know if I can handle that feeling. I rarely get afraid. Personal development. How to handle evil. Should you hit back? Is that a good solution?

Blame. If people could take personal responsibility over their actions, the world would become better. In psychology, projection, is an explanation over certain behavior. To further explain, if you get angry over something you know you have caused yourself, you blame somebody else. To find a peaceful solution is to reflect over your actions. Ethical responsibility.

I like the photo a lot I published yesterday. For me it represents freedom. It is also the name of my mother. Elsa. She has been rather strict in raising me and my brother, but she has always taken good care of us. Even though her memory is not the best to date, she always talks about my brother. Since I have had it easier at school, she cares more about my brother since he is more vulnerable. Every family has their own privacy and I would like to keep it that way.

Somehow, it is a special day today. I follow the news about what’s happening in Russia-Krim. I hope people will not be harmed and that politicians talk instead of using weapons. Good leadership, according to me, is to talk, and talk, and talk. If leaders don’t dare to say what they wish then evil has gained ground. I fight evil.

Je t’embrasse,

Anna

Just relaxing today. A grey day in Stockholm so not much to do but to enjoy life as much as possible. It also is the 1st of March. Amazing how time passes. I think quite a lot of time. How memories fade away, giving place to new memories. Also called positive thinking.

You might have noticed that I like photos. And walks. I try to catch moments of life when I see them. This photo above is from a previous walk. Isn’t it beautiful? There are many boats in Stockholm and that is good because it revives my memories from living in Göteborg. I miss the fresh seafood and salt water from the west coast. However, still on a diet.

Today is a go with the flow day.

Je t’embrasse,

Anna

PS. Still problems with photos, not in the position I would like.

It is really nice to have a diary. Since I write directly on the internet I don’t have to think about hiding my writing. I have had trubble with someone breaking into my apartment. Not so nice. But I know that I am not alone of this so that comforts me. It scares me that our community is turning into an unsafe world. What are the signals for future generations?

Violence generates violence.

My philosophy is to have my own gard and if somebody is not nice to me then I have to do something about the situation. I think a lot of people have seen what’s happening in the USA. Media plays an important role in augmenting dangerous situations.

What makes me a bit fuzzy is that some people seek conflicts instead of thinking of how to make something good out of a situations. There will always be conflicts between people. That is for sure. But since we have this knowledge, we also have a possibility to avoid conflicts and make good solutions.

Mostly, from my point of view, is to use your brain. Yes, everybody has a brain. Again, I would like to mention Professor Arvid Carlsson talking about the reptile brain. The brain has developed throughout ages. I said it before, I believe the impulse controlling systems in the brain are very important. They help you to manage your fear, anger etc. However, when you meet somebody who do not have their feelings under control then it gets complicated.

I need to elaborate on this but this is extremely important if you would like to stay in balance with your feelings and importantly your relations.

Personally, I am at a time point in my life where I have to look after myself. I have been hurt by so many people. So I am very careful. I think everybody who has been hurt also knows how difficult it is to face similar situations. That is to get out of your comfort zone.

I am grown up in the countryside. I have always known that I have been adopted and later, I learnt a little about my “indian” background. But the life I know is only the country side. Please, try to understand that.

Sweet dreams,

Anna

Since I don´t have any statistics I don´t know if there is anyone reading this. Today I bought a new computer because I write so much. And I use the freedom of internet.

I have thought a lot about what I wrote last time. It is a summary of a pharmacological Cinderella fairytale. I love pharmacology. I have always been interested in pharmacology and I will see how I can continue to contribute.

I have had problems with the internet today. Hackers probably. Scary.

Since I have a new computer I have to upload old photos etc. I bumped into this photo. If you ever go to Sweden you can see this photo on a 100 SEK bill. It is a beautiful garden with many medical plants. Nice cafe as well.

Since I am single, I just cannot stay at home. You have to expose yourself to new situations and environments. I feel sorry for being single. But there has to be a man out there for me.

I think of all my sisters going through the same journey as I do. Dating. Bad guys. Not being serious.

I have to wait for a long time.

Meanwhile I have to enjoy myself in the very best way I can. It is very boring to be alone. Waste of time. But what do you do. No choices. So, sisters. I know what it is like. And don’t forget to wait for a nice man you love. And maybe, most importantly, a man who loves you.

Je t’embrasse,

Anna