Did you know that my origin is from Lapland?

This weekend has been very dramatic in various aspects. I was looking forward a relaxing weekend a lot because it is “första advent”. However, I had a bad Chinese take away dinner, so I fell ill. Same happened two weeks ago when I had a pizza. I felt that I was about to pass away so I actually called my brother who has autism, and parents to, more or less, say goodbye. But, to your surprise, I am staying alive. Yesterday, my parents went to see me in Stockholm and we talked a lot about what happened.

Of course, this made me think a lot. Especially about my origin and where I would like to be berried. Horrible thought, but so true.

I havn´t thought so much about my origin. I know that my real father is dead. My real mother lives in Lapland. It might sound strange, but I have chosen to not to stay in contact with my “DNA family”. I am not ready for that. I am busy with my parents and brother. And I am busy trying to make my own life.

I am not sure but I think I am a quarter Swedish. Whatever Swedish is. I think I come from Norway, Sweden, Finland and Russia. At least, it sounds exotic.

It is not so nice to say “lapp” to a same. It is pejorative. It is not polite at all. And it hurts a lot. But, of course, I am too sensitive.

It is getting late so I will continue to write later.

Take care,

/anna